self defense for women and others

I have this female online friend who has been terrorized by a guy across the street.

She walks in and out of her house in fear of this guy.. who , although he has never gotten violent, (yet), still acts crazy and tries to be intimidating.

Among other things, I advised her to call the police.

That way, if the guy decides to cross the street one day, and she has to defend herself, there will be a record of him terrorizing her.


If he's smart, he'll stay on his own side, though.

'Cause, now, she'll be ready for him.


All this drama going on also gave me the idea to write this here post.

Because,
as much as we hate the idea of it,
we live in a violent world,
with an awful lot of predators ready to spring upon the weak, fearful, infirm,
-- or just those who aren't paying enough attention to what's going on around them.

Ladies- you're a target just by being female.

Predators think that most women have no idea on how to defend themselves.

And I guess they'd be right.

But being prepared for an attack can often determine the probability of being attacked.

If you appear clueless, apprehensive, or inattentive, you are much more likely to become a victim.

But the truth is, there are several, very easy things you can do to greatly improve your safety and feeling of well-being.

I'm not gonna preach to you here... which methods you choose are up to you.

You should simply keep an open mind to your options.

And remember this - any time someone attacks you, there is a strong possibility they are prepared to hurt or kill you.

You have no way of knowing.

Most states recognize this, and allow a person to meet the imminent threat of deadly force with deadly force.

Put another way, the person doesnt need to already be strangling you before you can react like your life is in danger.

You also need to put aside any ideas of using less than optimal force to defend yourself in the case of a physical assault.

You do not owe the perpetrator "a warning shot".

If your life is on the line, do whatever you have to do to end the assault.

Even if the local over-enthusiastic prosecutor ends up wanting to ask you some questions later about your actions, you'll be alive to answer em.

Alrighty.... let's get started.



SITUATIONAL AWARENESS

The first and most important thing you can do to protect your own safety is to be aware of what's going on around you, and to appear confident and in control.

When you are in your home, have a little ringy bell or alert on all the entrances of the house
so that someone can't just sneak up on you unawares.

When you're out and about, keep an eye out for people staring or following you.

Project confidence, walk purposefully, and always keep a hand free.

Carry a panic button, sound alarm, or other personal security device.

Avoid talking to strangers when possible.

Avoid going into dangerous places/areas by yourself. It's hard to mug a crowd.

If you are armed, keep it where you can reach it.



FIREARMS

A cousin of mine from a pretty tough town up Nawth came to visit me not long ago, and I asked her if she'd like to go to the shooting range.

She was aghast.

"GUNS?" She said..." I don't mess around with guns".

I reminded her of an assault by an acquaintance of hers, in which she received injuries that required medical attention.

I also reminded her of the carry permit law in her state, which would allow her to obtain and carry a firearm for self defense.

And ultimately, that each individual is responsible for his or her own defense.

There's a reason more and more states are allowing law-abiding citizens to concealed-carry... and this here's the secret:

Ready?

Because the POLICE cannot protect you.

It's not even their job.

They work to try to prevent crime, to investigate crime, and to arrest violators.

If it was their job to provide protection for individuals, there'd have to be a police officer assigned to every person in the State.

The States know this very well.

And, as violent crime has increased, so has the willingness to allow the kind of licensing and training of firearms for responsible persons to be able to protect themselves.

In my State of North Carolina, a person with a clean record and good moral character can take a state mandated firearms class, and upon successful completion and background check, can obtain a carry permit.

The rate of violent crime in my State has dropped every year since this was enacted.

If every law abiding citizen took the training and was armed, violent crime would be a much rarer event, indeed.

Home invasions, car jackings, kidnappings, etc would be seriously decreased in number.

But I know, there are a lot of people who still have a strong feeling against them.. and so I dont really expect that to happen.

Besides, there are going to be occasions when a firearm will not protect you.

A close range assault is just one example.

If the attacker is already within a two or three foot range, drawing a firearm would be dangerous and impractical, and your firearm might be turned against you.



SHOCKERS and TEAR GAS

This non-lethal approach is great for those with ethical objections to firearms - but, range is still some consideration.

There are 'mace' sprayers which are very good in the 1-15 foot range, some with chemical dyes to allow easier identification of the perp. A loony on PCP might just giggle when you spray him, though.......

There are stun guns made for use in that same range, as well. These use an electrical shock to temporarily put the perp out of commission. Often, even after he recovers, he finds he's gone and wet himself.... and that usually puts a damper on further proceedings.

A handheld shocker is a bit different. This device must come in contact with the person -- so it's for use in very close contact assaults.

I don't like the idea of letting someone get that close before using a non lethal deterent...


A knife is a bad idea, for a number of reasons... but the most important two are:

Using a knife in an assault situation requires skill... improper use will result in the knife ending up cutting the wrong person - you.

It is an ineffective deterrent- it's most efficient use is as a stealth weapon... and that means very short range.



OWNING YOUR SPACE


Which brings up a very important idea.

You want to avoid letting someone get close enough to you to make aggressive self defense necessary, if possible.

This , you can do, easier than you might think.

Your personal space boundaries vary depending on where you are, and what you're doing.

If you are on a crowded train, for instance, you expect people to be in close... but while walking in the open space of a shopping mall parking lot, there's no reason to permit a stranger in anywhere near that close.

Someone who violates your space in that situation must be considered a potential threat, and your voice can speak volumes for your ability to handle yourself, and possibly diffuse the situation.

As the person closes, in a loud, clear voice say " I don't know you - back off NOW."

If the person continues to close with no good reason, you now know you have a dangerous situation.

Again, your voice can be valuable.

No matter what other countermeasures you are prepared to use, be sure you scream your head off while you're doing it.

Once you start screamin, the chances of the perp running away are greatly increased.... and if he ignores your screaming and keeps closing, there can be no doubt he means you harm.

You will need to draw, aim , and if he keeps coming, fire - as many shots as needed, but at least three.

You must make your choice to fire before he gets so close he takes the choice away from you.
Ummmm.....

You're gonna have practice this.

Mentally and physically.



IN CLOSE

But let's say, you've totally ignored Yer Ole Uncle Nuts, you got no weapon, and he gets in close.

Or, it happened so quick, you can't resort to your weapon.

What now?

I know you're a nice person, and you don't wanna hurt anybody, but the time for that kinda thinking is when you're not being attacked.

Now, you gotta get nasty.

Three choices here.

One: you can choose NOT to resist -
-- give them what they want, and hope they don't hurt ya.
( I think that way of thinking went out with 9-11, but it's your choice....)

Two: you can use psychology- make like you're gonna not going to resist,
-- and then attack while his defenses are lowered.

Three: you can come out swinging.

As for option one, while many women's organizations still say this is a good choice:
I ask why you would be willing to stake your life on the 'tender' mercies of a violent person?

pHOOEY.


As for option two: I like this, and use it myself in certain situations.

"Hey man, it's cool.... no problem.... anything you want.... just don't hurt me...... "

Again, you gotta practice this.. you gotta come across as totally passive and calm.

Your body language can't telegraph the fact that you're about to give him a taste of his own testicles.

Then, as he directs his attention to your purse, your car, your clothes, etc.,
---- attack with all force using the techniques below.

And remember to start screamin your lungs out... not only can it attract help and let people know you're in trouble, but it's great for adreneline, which makes you stronger!


Option three: Scream your lungs out and use the attack techniques below.



Attacking an attacker

Let's assume a male attacker, since the overwhelming percentage of non-domestic assaults are committed by males.

If you're like most females, you probably learned about kicking testicles early in grammar school.

So did your attacker.

He'll be expecting that,
... so you want to open with another type of blow, and while he's reeling from that, you can get a clean shot at the twins.

I always say that you should do everything in threes.

Just as you fire three shots - you strike three blows in combination.

One to open him up, one to put him down, one to keep him down.

There are all kinds of moves you can use -
chopping movements aimed at the throat or shoulders,
gouging movements aimed at the eyes, nose, mouth, ears,
punching movements aimed at the temple, solar plexus,
grabbing movements aimed at soft tissue and small bones,
and kicking movements aimed just about anywhere.

You should learn and practice 1 or 2 of each of these kinds of blows until you can do them in your sleep,

Then, when you need them, lead off with the three most accessible in the situation... if they don't resolve it, keep swinging until it does.

Eye gouging is a good way to start. Combined with a knee kick to the groin, and a sweep of the knee, your attacker is now on the ground and in pain.

I also find a swinging elbow or a head butt to the eye a good way to lead off...

Or a hard palm to the underside of the nose.

-- if you can draw his blood quickly, he will be too busy trying to save his own ass to try to hurt you anymore.

Criminals hate the sight of their own blood. It upsets them.

-- The same goes for their bones. If you break one, they'll cry for their mommies.
And bones in the shoulder, face, knees, calves, and extremities are easy to break.

You might try some face scratching, a clavicle smash and a kick to the kneecap.

Or you can start by grabbing anything you can reach and twist it until it starts to comes off.

A ear, nose, or finger turned 360 degrees can be a very effective deterrent.

Don't be afraid to bite - and bite hard. You've had your shots.... chomp on him.



Look for weapons you can use as an 'equalizer' -
-- keys make a wonderful gouging weapon...
-- pens can make watching 3-D an impossibility....
-- hot coffee in the face is a potent perp stopper....
... just hit him with anything you can get a holt of.

If you throw your purse or shopping bags at him,
-- it may open him up to a nice clean swift kick or three.

Just remember - always go for landing a combination of three effective blows,
.. with the last aimed at taking him off his feet.

Once you've landed, and he's landed (on the ground),
- it's time to run for help... screaming all the way.

At this point, no, you shouldn't stay and torture him.

Not legally, anyway.





Disclaimer: Please check the laws applicable to the locality in which you live for specifics on what you can, or cannot do, to defend yourself, and in what circumstances.

I am not a lawyer, nor does this constitute legal advice.

Remember - knowledge is a weapon - arm yourself.