The simple truth about complicated fitness questions

As a strength trainer, I like to tell people that there is no such thing as a dumb question -
except the one you are afraid to ask.

But between me and you, that's bull. People ask me dumb questions all day long.

Of course, I don't tell them the question is dumb- because part of what we're trying to do is get their thinking right... and I don't want people to be afraid to ask questions... misconceptions hurt people worse than most other things in a gym.

So, I smile my smiley little smile, and patronize my patrons with patronizations about questions a five year old should know the answer to.... I like to say: "hey- I didn't always know everything, you know."

Mmmm... ok- I'm a jerk. I admit it.

Still - some of the questions I hear are just plain dumb.



Here's an example.....

"Do those products they sell on TV really work?
Can I really look like a model by using it 20 minutes a day, three times a week?
Does it replace the need for a gym?"

That's what you call a three-fer. Three dumb questions for the price of one.......

Ask me this in a gym setting, and I will answer you with about 200 words,
-- explaining all about how personal training helps people attain their personal goals, work on problem areas, use proper form- instruction, assitance, and motivation that you would not get outside of a gym setting.. etc.

Ask me as a friend, and I'll give you the real answers:
Question 1: HELL NO. What are ya- crazy or something???
Question 2: HELL NO. What are ya- crazy or something???
Question 3: HELL NO. What are ya- crazy or something???

Ok - the answer to qx 1 could be a bit more complicated, granted...

If you're talking about buying a treadmill, and a bow-flex, and a set of dumbbells, and some other stuff, then maybe some of "THAT TV stuff" would work- if your goal is just to lose a coupla pounds of ugly fat... (without shooting your husband...) - but if you're talking about those crappy gimmicky things like the ultimate sit up seat, or the ultimate push up handles, or the ultimate pull up harness, then -- what you're really looking at is the ultimate in losing money, not weight.

As for the other two questions... well......, again, HELL NO. What are ya- crazy or something???


Hmmm... maybe I better explain myself a little better...

OK- Here's another one I love: A guy the other week (at a party) was telling me that you can build muscle in your sleep without strenuous exercise- just take a tablespoon of peanut butter before bed. "Believe me.." he said earnestly, "It works."

--
Mmmm hmm.... Thank you Mister 135-Pound-Weakling - that's the secret that me and the rest of the muscleheads who work out 6 days a week, 2-3 hours a day have been waiting for!! To think - all that time and effort and pain WASTED - when all we needed to do was take a tablespoon of peanut butter before nappy time. Jeeez.... where was I when THAT secret was first revealed to the world?

Somebody needs to tell me what I should say to a guy like that.... I mean, I tried to keep a straight face..... and was doing pretty good until a guy I know walked over, listened, and said "Awwww.. that's a crock o sh*t!" I lost it at that point, but the other guy went on for another 10 minutes about how great it works. I wish I had a picture of this guy.... I'm sure Skippy would be happy to put him on all their labels...... yeah, raht.


A lady asked me one time "Does that hurt?" . I turned around in the restaurant booth, and looked at her.... "I'm sorry... does WHAT hurt?" She pointed to my traps. (I guess they were still pumped from the gym... I had dived in there for some quick protein after a workout in which I always beat the hell outta them...) "No... not at all." I smiled. (mistake..... it's just an invitation for a dumber question to follow!) "Well, why do you do that? (workout) I think it's ugly, all those big muscles... I like men to look blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.... "

Again - what the hell should I say? Mind your own business? You don't think she's heard that a MILLION times already? If it hasn't sunk in by NOW, what chance have I got? Who cares what she likes men to look like? She does- and since she does, she figures everybody else in the world should share in her idea of the proper male form. Certainly, she's entitled to her opinion... that's what BLOGS and chats are for- not adjoining booths in restaurants.


Oh, and of course the 'S' word is always a popular conversation starter - "So... do you use STEROIDS?" or "I guess you have to use STEROIDS to get that big....." One guy told my son that he should "stay outta your dad's (that's ME) steroids", because he has such a bad temper. (No - but he does have a bad temper... he'll grow out of it... I did...) " NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, I very politely explained to the creep - no steroids, you stupid worm - (OK, I wasn't THAT polite...) I built my strength through hard work, heavy weight , dedication, time, effort - - -- and whatdaya know about the stuff anyway---------- you wouldn't know Deca from a record label".


----- Thank God, not everybody's looking for an easy fix or pop a pill to perfection. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!


Heck, I try to be a nice guy.... (I'm just not that good at it...) but where do people GET THESE CRAZY IDEAS?


Here's one I heard the other day.

That lateral dumbell raises should be raised as high as possible, for maximum effect.

This from another trainer.

No.

Lateral dumbell raises should be raised as high as possible, for maximum damage - to the shoulder.

Hammer curls are very good for solving this particular problem...
------------ use them to hit that dumbell right in the head with them.

Just for the record - the shoulder is really easy to mess up big time. Do lateral dumbell raises, and all other shoulder movements with extreme care, never extending outside of your comfort zone. Never. Despite what you may hear any talking dumbells say.

See my blog on training shoulders and delts.


And while I'm countering the dumb advice I heard given that day, here's one more...

Please, do not (repeat), do not - 'bottom out' each rep on machine curls.

Unless you like tendonitis.

I've had it. You won't like it.

So don't.



Questions? Drop me a line. I promised not to be snarky about it.

And, just in case you LIKE snarky, check out my blog on gym etiquette.. it's a barrel of fun.



Hoy!