Its fun being a redneck

Somebody called a friend of mine the other day a "redneck".

 He didn't mean it as a compliment.... but I can't really see the insult there.

 I've been a redneck all my life, and it's never hurt my feelings to be called one.

 It's all in your definition, I guess.

 To me, being a redneck is preferring the simple, countrified things in life,
to the more elaborate, fancier, expensive stuff.

 Not that being a redneck is all that cheap....

 .......... hey - do you know what a pickup truck topper costs these days?

 Ok... I don't hunt.

 I don't fish ...

 I don't listen to country music either.

 And I don't own any damned cowboy boots.

 But I like firing big guns at the range......
....... and getting a boat going real fast is something I just love.

 I know just how sexy Reba McEntyre can look when she's all fancied up.

.............. And, seeing her in them boots makes me hurt down deep in a very special place.

 
 So, I feel like my redneck bona-fides are completely in order.

 I got a beat up old pickup truck, a Harley Davidson, and a dog named Stonewall.

 I live on a big ole hill where I can shoot the eyes outta any interloper before they get halfway up the damn thing.

 I got a 79 Firebird that's been sitting in my driveway for seven years waiting for me to restore it.

 I got a fence that is at least partially obscured by honeysuckle plants I don't have the heart to cut down.

 I got a tool shed with every tool known to man that I never use, and have no idea what half of em even do.

 I have built birdhouses out of milk jugs, palettes, coffee cans, and old license plates.

 I throw out valuable stuff, and keep screws.

 "New Fangled" is a commonly used word in my vocabulary.

 I have waved at total strangers while mowing my grass.

 I know exactly where the Mason Dixon line starts and ends...
... and can explain to you in great detail why West Virginia is not part of the South.

 I have eaten Deer, Possum, Rattlesnake, Catfish and Alligator meat, and liked it.

 ( not much, but enough... )

 What else do you want from a man?